People really suck sometimes. I mean they really suck. I wonder how God can possibly love us all so much. It's truly beyond my comprehension. Usually I don't find it difficult to love people, but every once in awhile something happens that reminds me how broken humanity is.
People are unreliable. There is not one person on this planet that can be counted on all the time. Everyone will let you down sometimes. And a few people don't do anything except let you down.
People don't really care. Everyone says they care because they don't want to seem like a bad person. A lot of people really think they care, but we just don't want to admit to ourselves that we are too selfish to really care.
People are all hypocrites. EVERYONE.
People are fake and never show what they think on the surface. If we are angry about something, we don't show you to your face; we do something small and petty to try and let you know without having to say it. And because we're all hypocrites, we also all say that we are honest and aren't fake. Lies.
I'm not saying that I don't have every one of these problems sometimes. Unfortunately, I am human. I'm just saying that at least I recognize that I have these problems sometimes and try to fix them. Unlike some people who will do everything to avoid admitting to themselves that this applies to them.
And the worst thing is when someone blatantly disrespects you. When you let them know with no uncertainty that something hurts/bothers you and they don't understand and just don't give a shit. That really sucks.
not so loving lisa
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Awkward!!
I do these all the time. I bet you do too. :)
-While walking, pretend I don't see someone that I know until a precise distance has been reached, then go "Oh hi!"
-Stop in my tracks and turn around to get something I forgot; stop again and turn around when I realize I don't need it; stop and turn again thinking maybe it'd be better if I had it; finally stop and turn again because I'm too lazy
-Stare intensely at someone approaching because you think it's someone you know, then when he/she gets close enough you realize that it's not so you quickly duck your head
-Stumble on the stairs in public and then get up and look around to see if anyone saw. Continue on as if nothing has happened. (Actually, I've gotten so used to this that I skip the look around step in order to save time)
-Say something really loudly out of context, such as "I really like to lick them" and realize that the whole room just happened to be silent when you said it
-Answer a question that wasn't addressed to you. Example: "How are you?" "I'm fine!" "......" "Oh..."
Yes. I am well versed in the art of awkwardness. ^_^
If you bang your head on the wall for one hour, you will have lost 150 calories.
love lisa
-While walking, pretend I don't see someone that I know until a precise distance has been reached, then go "Oh hi!"
-Stop in my tracks and turn around to get something I forgot; stop again and turn around when I realize I don't need it; stop and turn again thinking maybe it'd be better if I had it; finally stop and turn again because I'm too lazy
-Stare intensely at someone approaching because you think it's someone you know, then when he/she gets close enough you realize that it's not so you quickly duck your head
-Stumble on the stairs in public and then get up and look around to see if anyone saw. Continue on as if nothing has happened. (Actually, I've gotten so used to this that I skip the look around step in order to save time)
-Say something really loudly out of context, such as "I really like to lick them" and realize that the whole room just happened to be silent when you said it
-Answer a question that wasn't addressed to you. Example: "How are you?" "I'm fine!" "......" "Oh..."
Yes. I am well versed in the art of awkwardness. ^_^
If you bang your head on the wall for one hour, you will have lost 150 calories.
love lisa
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Self reflection
Every once in awhile, I try to look at myself objectively and see what other people see. I tried doing that today, but I'm sad to say that I don't like what I see. In fact, I'm kind of dejected at the person I've become and it's hard for me to look at myself for long before turning away in embarrassment. Pretty much, I just need God. I feel that I've strayed from Him due to various circumstances and my own lack of self control.
I see in myself a person who is very confused. I'm not sure what I want from life anymore. I don't have challenging goals or dreams that are motivating me to become more than I am. Instead, I'm filling my life with tons of things that aren't really satisfying me.
I see that I am not really confident in myself. I don't strive to look good all the time, trying to prove to other's that I am or anything, but I just don't care. I don't value myself like I should (and I don't mean that to sound emo or self-centered). I just find myself embarrassed at my own inabilities and problems and I have trouble facing myself and my actions sometimes.
I see someone who is kind of judgmental, not in the sense that I judge people I don't know or stereotype. I judge people because of the things I don't like in them, but I don't take the time to notice the things in them that are good. This is what embarrasses me most right now. I used to try so hard never to be pessimistic about a person or speak badly about them, and I generally succeeded. These days, I am angry and judgmental of many people. I get angry at what people do/say and it's unworthy of me and the God I should be trying to represent. And I tell people more than I should. My judgments just fall out and I don't realize until later what I said, and then I'm ashamed of myself all over again. Most of the time, this shame drives me to go and tell the person straight up what I'm thinking, so at least I'm not stabbing them in the back, but it doesn't change that I judged them when my sins are so great that I don't have the right to.
I think it all came during the transition from HS to college. I don't know how the change in environment did this to me, but I seriously need a re-examining of my life. Who I am hates who I've been. So...new resolutions:
1. Whenever I catch myself thinking poorly of someone, I will force myself to find something equally good in them
2. I will not tell other people what I think of a person I am critical of
3. Anyone that I have felt angry toward or judged that day, I will pray for them and myself that night.
Yeah. No worries, I'm not super depressed or anything. I know that I have good qualities, too. :) This is just the result of my self reflection.
People tend to believe negative gossip over positive truth.
love lisa
I see in myself a person who is very confused. I'm not sure what I want from life anymore. I don't have challenging goals or dreams that are motivating me to become more than I am. Instead, I'm filling my life with tons of things that aren't really satisfying me.
I see that I am not really confident in myself. I don't strive to look good all the time, trying to prove to other's that I am or anything, but I just don't care. I don't value myself like I should (and I don't mean that to sound emo or self-centered). I just find myself embarrassed at my own inabilities and problems and I have trouble facing myself and my actions sometimes.
I see someone who is kind of judgmental, not in the sense that I judge people I don't know or stereotype. I judge people because of the things I don't like in them, but I don't take the time to notice the things in them that are good. This is what embarrasses me most right now. I used to try so hard never to be pessimistic about a person or speak badly about them, and I generally succeeded. These days, I am angry and judgmental of many people. I get angry at what people do/say and it's unworthy of me and the God I should be trying to represent. And I tell people more than I should. My judgments just fall out and I don't realize until later what I said, and then I'm ashamed of myself all over again. Most of the time, this shame drives me to go and tell the person straight up what I'm thinking, so at least I'm not stabbing them in the back, but it doesn't change that I judged them when my sins are so great that I don't have the right to.
I think it all came during the transition from HS to college. I don't know how the change in environment did this to me, but I seriously need a re-examining of my life. Who I am hates who I've been. So...new resolutions:
1. Whenever I catch myself thinking poorly of someone, I will force myself to find something equally good in them
2. I will not tell other people what I think of a person I am critical of
3. Anyone that I have felt angry toward or judged that day, I will pray for them and myself that night.
Yeah. No worries, I'm not super depressed or anything. I know that I have good qualities, too. :) This is just the result of my self reflection.
People tend to believe negative gossip over positive truth.
love lisa
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Mornings
Heh. I'm probably ridiculously amusing to watch in the mornings. Here are the meanderings of my brain while I stumble through the morning.
*alarm clock 1: Wedding Dress*
Aeaoingawoo
*alarm clock 2: Paparazzi*
Ugh...no....
*alarm clock 3: Fire*
Whimper...so sad...
*attempt to kick off blankets; realization that they are firmly twined around my left leg*
Mmm...can't do it...go back to sleep
*alarm clock 4: Beep beep beep*
Dang...I'm late
*Climb out of bed and remember belatedly that I'm too short for it, so I miss my footstool and fall*
Ow
*Shed pjs and wrap a towel around myself*
I feel like crap. I probably look like it too.
*Look in the mirror*
Oh God.
*Trudge to the bathroom, moaning in response to any friendly morning greetings*
Ahh....water...hot...good
*Get out of shower and dry off; start walking out; slip; fall again*
Ow
*Stand in front of closet staring blankly*
.......
*Realize that I'm late to class*
Crap...t-shirt and jeans again I guess...
Yeah...so just a small excerpt of how little intelligence and coordination I have in the morning. Not that it gets much better during the day, but I'm particularly useless in the morning. ^_^
Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
love lisa
*alarm clock 1: Wedding Dress*
Aeaoingawoo
*alarm clock 2: Paparazzi*
Ugh...no....
*alarm clock 3: Fire*
Whimper...so sad...
*attempt to kick off blankets; realization that they are firmly twined around my left leg*
Mmm...can't do it...go back to sleep
*alarm clock 4: Beep beep beep*
Dang...I'm late
*Climb out of bed and remember belatedly that I'm too short for it, so I miss my footstool and fall*
Ow
*Shed pjs and wrap a towel around myself*
I feel like crap. I probably look like it too.
*Look in the mirror*
Oh God.
*Trudge to the bathroom, moaning in response to any friendly morning greetings*
Ahh....water...hot...good
*Get out of shower and dry off; start walking out; slip; fall again*
Ow
*Stand in front of closet staring blankly*
.......
*Realize that I'm late to class*
Crap...t-shirt and jeans again I guess...
Yeah...so just a small excerpt of how little intelligence and coordination I have in the morning. Not that it gets much better during the day, but I'm particularly useless in the morning. ^_^
Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
love lisa
Friday, October 8, 2010
Selective observation
I think women are all somewhat paranoid in the sense that we think that people around us notice every little flaw in our appearance. I think that's interesting, because I at least don't notice much. I'm sure there are people that will notice and harp on people's flaws, maybe because they are super observant (which I'm not) or super judgmental (which I don't think I am). So I just want to write down some of the things I do and don't notice about other's appearances. I wonder if other people notice/don't notice the same things I do/don't?
Women:
I notice when women wear pants that are too tight around the waist and they have back fat spilling out over the tops of their pants
I don't notice/can't tell when a woman is a having a bad hair day.
I notice when women put powder over zits to try to cover them up.
I usually don't notice a zit otherwise.
I notice when women wear heels around campus that are so high and inconvenient that I wonder what they're trying to prove by being so uncomfortable without reason. *cough FOBS cough*
I don't notice when a woman has hairy legs.
I notice if a woman does something different with her hair.
I don't notice if a woman second-days her hair/clothing.
Men:
I notice when a guy smells good. I really notice.
I don't notice when a guy has put on/lost weight (except under extreme cases).
I notice when a guy grows hair in places previously hairless.
I don't notice what brand of clothing a guy has.
I do notice if a guy dresses nicely.
I don't notice how many times a guy wears the same outfit in a week.
I notice if a guy has wrinkles in his clothing.
I don't notice a guy's shoes, watches, or other accessories.
I notice if a guy struts like a peacock. And then avoid him. (Exhibit A: my cousin)
I was just thinking the other day that I worry a lot about some things in my appearance that I bet people don't even notice. And I was wondering what they do notice. What do guy's notice? Do they notice anything beyond hot or not?
Nearly 70% of American women prefer a clean-shaven man.
love lisa
Women:
I notice when women wear pants that are too tight around the waist and they have back fat spilling out over the tops of their pants
I don't notice/can't tell when a woman is a having a bad hair day.
I notice when women put powder over zits to try to cover them up.
I usually don't notice a zit otherwise.
I notice when women wear heels around campus that are so high and inconvenient that I wonder what they're trying to prove by being so uncomfortable without reason. *cough FOBS cough*
I don't notice when a woman has hairy legs.
I notice if a woman does something different with her hair.
I don't notice if a woman second-days her hair/clothing.
Men:
I notice when a guy smells good. I really notice.
I don't notice when a guy has put on/lost weight (except under extreme cases).
I notice when a guy grows hair in places previously hairless.
I don't notice what brand of clothing a guy has.
I do notice if a guy dresses nicely.
I don't notice how many times a guy wears the same outfit in a week.
I notice if a guy has wrinkles in his clothing.
I don't notice a guy's shoes, watches, or other accessories.
I notice if a guy struts like a peacock. And then avoid him. (Exhibit A: my cousin)
I was just thinking the other day that I worry a lot about some things in my appearance that I bet people don't even notice. And I was wondering what they do notice. What do guy's notice? Do they notice anything beyond hot or not?
Nearly 70% of American women prefer a clean-shaven man.
love lisa
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